Memories of Éire

“How was Ireland?” A question I never thought I'd find myself dreading. Yet in the days since my return from Ireland I have, at times, dreaded that question. It's not that I don't want to talk about my trip, but I don't feel like I can answer that question well. Like Kara, I have found that it can be a very hard question to answer, and one that I'd really rather not answer at times. It's almost like people are asking me a personal question, which perhaps sounds strange. But I feel like whenever I share my experiences, even a small part, I am somehow sharing a very personal part of my life. Even writing this blog, I feel like I have so much I want to say, yet I keep going back and changing it, unable to decide what to say.

But in truth, how do you tell people about an experience that changed your life? How do you express the ways your entire perspective changed by living in another culture, even if it was a brief 6 week period? People want to hear about how green it was, how amazing it was, but don't seem to be as prepared for the word “life-changing” to be thrown in there. And even if they wanted to more about how it was life-changing, I don't know that I could answer that question. Even with several weeks now to have thought about my time in Ireland, I am still unable to really understand how it changed me. I know it did. I just can't express how.

I imagine there will be days in the future, maybe even years from now, where I look back to my Irish Studies trip and see how it influenced my life. From the times of deep reflection at Whitehead lighthouse and on the shores of the North Coast, the conversations at Lakeside, to the encouragement of Billy Stevenson, Ross Wilson and Derick Bingham, God used my time in Northern Ireland to continue His shaping and reforming of my life. It may have only been six weeks, but I feel like I learned about six months worth of life knowledge and spiritual growth during that time.

Though that is all wonderful, and the memories I have are important, I am still left with the question of where to go from here. A life change is worthless if it does not actually change the way you live your life. It is also worthless if you are stuck in the past, unwilling to move on to the future. One thing I did not want to do upon my return from Ireland was to be “stuck” in Ireland. That is, I didn't want to miss the memories happening in my own backyard. Though I may long for Ireland, I'll never get there by being stuck in the past. So though I have spent time remembering Ireland, and taking about it, and even though I do have times of “Irish homesickness” I also have been looking towards the coming year. Praying over the opportunities I have and for the memories I'll make. I hope to someday return to Ireland, but more important is to carry the memories and lessons of Ireland with me as I walk the calling God has put before me, day by day, with an eye on what is to come, what is going on now, and where I have come from—my memories of Éire.

Stories

Since my return from the land of Eire, I've noticed a peculiar development in my speech habits. When someone asks me, “So, how was Ireland?” I find I experience a temporary paralysis of the articulation center in my brain. My typical eloquent response is something like, “Uhh... it was great.” It's not that I didn't expect the question. I knew this test was coming, but somehow that didn't make it easier. Why is it so hard to put into words the depth of what my heart feels?

Today I realized something else about the nature of my temporary “speech impediment.” There's a part of me that doesn't want to try. Instead, I want to curl up inside the memories and just bask in them for a while. Why not stay there and just let everyone else stay on the outside? It's easy to tell myself that most people don't care anyway. Within a few minutes their eyes will probably glaze over, and they will be thinking about what they need to add to their grocery list, or how long they have to stand there before they can leave without being rude. Sadly, I know I've been that person at times with friends who have returned from a mission trip or overseas experience in the past. (Why do you think I can describe it so well?) So why do we make the effort? Why is it important that we communicate what we have seen and heard?

If there's one thing the Irish people do well, it's tell a story. They don't just tell you what happened. They tell you what color the bird was, the exact size of the cucumber sandwiches, and the way they felt when they first met their future spouse. They allow you the privilege of stepping into their memory for just a few moments. They want you to see what they see, feel what they felt, and you can't help but be captivated by it.

We had countless opportunities to enter into these stories throughout the trip. We heard from incredible storytellers like Billy Stevenson, Hadden Wilson, Ross Wilson, and Derick Bingham. Each one of these men had unique stories to tell, and each one did it faithfully. What a gift they gave us! They allowed us to see life through their eyes for a few moments, and what we saw was incredible. We saw more than just a story about them. We saw what Ross Wilson calls, “shoots of Everlastingness.” We saw the image of a beautiful, powerful, loving, Creator. We saw impossible requests granted. We saw the weak become strong. We saw the story of redemption come to life.

When you're learning to write, everyone reminds you, “don't tell us, show us!” Even though these men were “telling” us stories, they were really just showing us how God was invading their world and turning it upside down. I don't know about you, but those are the stories make me want to find out more for myself. They make me want to go to the source and ask Him to make me a part of His story.

If there's one thing this trip has done, it's convinced me that not only is it worth it to tell the stories, I must tell them. I can't afford to keep them to myself. People need to hear them. We are all aching for something real, for someone to show us what God looks like. But we can't just talk. We have to live this story so our words will do more than just tell... they will show.

"They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness." Psalm 145:6-7.